Thoughts that cross your mind in split seconds

1. you take that last gulp of your coffee
2. you swallow some lumpy bits that can best be described as quasi-solid
3. with relief you recall dipping some rusks in your coffee earlier..
4. the relief turns to horror when you suddenly realise that you had rusks with your coffee YESTERDAY!!!
5. you look into the bottom of the cup and declare "screw you guys, i'm going home"

Recycled Jokes

Opening Scene: group of people (usually a social setting)
One person makes a funny / witty comment
small percentage of the group laugh at said comment
3 - 5 seconds later, a second (different) person makes the same joke
EVERYBODY ROARS WITH LAUGHTER!!!

Second person gets all the credit,respect and groupies reserved for comedians while the first person tries to make sense of it all by writing an anonymous blog as the credits roll us home.

I know that recycling is important in this day and age....but jokes???!!

and...cut!

click on the pic if you cant read the text

Who is dressing Liezel van der Westhuizen for the Idols shows?

Seriously!

Is anybody checking on this poor girl before she goes on stage???

A few Sundays ago she wore a dress that can only be described as a retirement village recreation and coma room curtain,

Last night, however, she took me right back to Beverly Hills Cop!

Walk with me...

Hair reminiscent of 80’s heart throb Bridget Nielsen, except the canary yellow leather has been traded in for some leopard print..

The leopard is exchanged for a “little black number”

Unfortunately the hair doesn’t survive the side wind tunnel test...

Oh sure, I have tried it in the past, many times, with an exact equal amount of failure attached.

Today seemed somehow different, I woke up early, feeling well rested and relaxed.

After preparing the first administration of caffeine I still had enough time to get back into bed for a few minutes to read "its not about the bike"...the book has been out for ages but I never got around to it until I too started spending great amounts of time in the saddle, battling the heat, sweat and sheer exhaustion of Natasha's Monday evening spinning class.

I got to work early, the traffic was a breeze almost reminiscent of I am legend.

As per usual at this time of the month I prepared and emailed my monthly report to my MD...only to realise that I left out an important item...

The good mood changed, my spirits plummeted, the sky's hue turned from a shading of 6:6:148 to 71:69:85 (RGB) or if you prefer Pantone: from 278 right down to a 655.

Feeding off the final shreds of optimism and confidence I tried one time and....

managed to successfully recall an email message...

Its time to clean up our own backyard

Tuesday 24 March 2009, Northern Johannesburg, 15h04, emails from friends and collegues are warning of shots being fired in several lacations as well as intimidation of commuters and drivers alike.

I hit the internet news channels to get further information only to find the main story is about how we denied the Dalai Lama a visa!

Yes, sure, we all know how the goverment screws up sometimes, maybe they know something we dont, maybe Mr Lee (of the China Mall fame) and Mr Agliotti (of pretty much everything fame) were involved, maybe the Dalai Lama has Shabir's real medical records...

WE JUST DONT KNOW!

My point?

All lifes questions are answered in the movies.

In the 1995 movie kiss of death, just before beating a guy to death, gangster Little Junior Brown (Nicholas Cage) gives a little speech about cleaning up ones own backyard.

Tibet is far away, I actually heard the gun shots on Grayston.

On a lighter note, what happens when a frog's car breaks down?

It gets toad.

Inbox conversation

"wow, you look different"

"do I?"

"you've done something different, haven’t you?"

"Yes, I have a new email address"

"It looks so good, I can't believe you took that long to change that other dorky one, this one is much better"

"um, the new address is only temporary while we change servers, I am going back to the old address tomorrow"

Went to the theatre last night.

Watched Elections & Erections, the lastest offering of Pieter-Dirk Uys.

Was a pleasant change from crying to laughing re: our political landscape.

Standing in front of the urinal during the interval I was unable to wee while someone else was standing next to me.

I put it down to stage fright.

Go have a weekend.

The hand of God

As we all know Zimbabwe Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai's wife, Susan, was tragically killed in a car crash late last week.

On tuesday thousands of people attended memorial services in Harare, during which President Robert Mugabe said the crash was the "hand of God".

I really dont see how Diego Maradona could have been invloved AGAIN!!!!

Is this funny only in MY head....or is it just me?

Q & A

Instead of desperately looking for answers rather concentrate your efforts on asking the right questions. Once you've done this, the answers will come looking for you.

- me, i said that.