Ode to trance music in the office

Imagine...an office....

Imagine people walking around, faxing, working on their pc's etc

Imagine one guy, banging away at his keyboard, phones covering his ear canals, oblivious to the world around him...every now and again throwing his hands up in the air and punching the sky to the beat induced electronic yet visceral soundtrack of life itself...

imagine....being

me

.

SABC totally cocks up Survivor China's final episode

After my final spinning class with the body builder (more on this later) I rushed to Stretch's place for healthy food, cigarettes and the final episode of Survivor China.

If you are a fan you will know how SABC 3 screwed it up so i wont go into the details.

Check out what other (more devout) bloggers had to say (write).

http://glasspearl.co.za/blog/

http://forum.dstv.com/showthread.php?p=25837

http://www.tvsa.co.za/forum/showthread.php?p=149665

Happy Spring Day SABC 3

Snapper heads!!!

fame and fortune begins...

I pull into the security gate of the country club for my weekly squash game...so far so normal....

The lady security guard greets me by name...country clubs just roll that way.....

Then she tells me that she saw me on tv today....

Its just three lines in a 10 minute informercial....yip..speaking role....

My first groupee wears a uniform and carries a torch...gotta start somewhere

Sports or Rock n Roll???

They should show these magazine covers to kids...

Christiano on top of the world and Amy, well....

Fucking candles get no fucking bullet points!!!

Seriously...who is choosing the pics for news24???

I didnt even know Mrs Doubtfire gambled.....

Weekend observations

1. Owen Wilson in Marley and Me.. THIS IS NOT A COMEDY!!!!! The last time i cried this much was when miss "i don't need to diet" Kate Winslet didn't let poor Leo float on the door with her and instead got Celine Dion sending him to an icy watery grave.

2. When i switched on the car radio on Sunday morning to hear Wham's wake me up before you go-go i thought George Michael had also died.

3. Good bye Confed Cup, thanks for the awesome games...see you next year for the big one.

Ahhh Packaging..the fifth P of Marketing...

You gotta love www.news24.com

Check out the photo they place with the article Worse than HIV/Aids relating to TB....a naked woman...off course!!

Raving for the over 30's

The first rule is GO VIP.

The second rule is leave before 03h30....this seems to be the "dusk till dawn" moment of clarity (sic) when the cracks open and spew out societies finest onto the unsuspecting trance loving public.

The third rule: Dear Organisers, please plan enough bar stock to last till AFTER 3 am....we have been dancing and who knows whatting all night and some aqua might be nice!!!

Fourth rule: Dear Armin, Tiesto sooooo kicks your ass!

And the fith and final rule....or rather observation...WTF is it with body builders, Mr T gold chains and 80's hairstyles that seem to emerge around crack opening time?

p.s Great time had by all none the less

Is advocate barbie a hottie....?

or is it just me??

Girl Action...the story so nice they listed it twice!!!

Finally Gordon Ramsay gets the ultimate sandwich he has been yearning for all these years...

Thoughts that cross your mind in split seconds

1. you take that last gulp of your coffee
2. you swallow some lumpy bits that can best be described as quasi-solid
3. with relief you recall dipping some rusks in your coffee earlier..
4. the relief turns to horror when you suddenly realise that you had rusks with your coffee YESTERDAY!!!
5. you look into the bottom of the cup and declare "screw you guys, i'm going home"

Recycled Jokes

Opening Scene: group of people (usually a social setting)
One person makes a funny / witty comment
small percentage of the group laugh at said comment
3 - 5 seconds later, a second (different) person makes the same joke
EVERYBODY ROARS WITH LAUGHTER!!!

Second person gets all the credit,respect and groupies reserved for comedians while the first person tries to make sense of it all by writing an anonymous blog as the credits roll us home.

I know that recycling is important in this day and age....but jokes???!!

and...cut!

click on the pic if you cant read the text

Who is dressing Liezel van der Westhuizen for the Idols shows?

Seriously!

Is anybody checking on this poor girl before she goes on stage???

A few Sundays ago she wore a dress that can only be described as a retirement village recreation and coma room curtain,

Last night, however, she took me right back to Beverly Hills Cop!

Walk with me...

Hair reminiscent of 80’s heart throb Bridget Nielsen, except the canary yellow leather has been traded in for some leopard print..

The leopard is exchanged for a “little black number”

Unfortunately the hair doesn’t survive the side wind tunnel test...

Oh sure, I have tried it in the past, many times, with an exact equal amount of failure attached.

Today seemed somehow different, I woke up early, feeling well rested and relaxed.

After preparing the first administration of caffeine I still had enough time to get back into bed for a few minutes to read "its not about the bike"...the book has been out for ages but I never got around to it until I too started spending great amounts of time in the saddle, battling the heat, sweat and sheer exhaustion of Natasha's Monday evening spinning class.

I got to work early, the traffic was a breeze almost reminiscent of I am legend.

As per usual at this time of the month I prepared and emailed my monthly report to my MD...only to realise that I left out an important item...

The good mood changed, my spirits plummeted, the sky's hue turned from a shading of 6:6:148 to 71:69:85 (RGB) or if you prefer Pantone: from 278 right down to a 655.

Feeding off the final shreds of optimism and confidence I tried one time and....

managed to successfully recall an email message...

Its time to clean up our own backyard

Tuesday 24 March 2009, Northern Johannesburg, 15h04, emails from friends and collegues are warning of shots being fired in several lacations as well as intimidation of commuters and drivers alike.

I hit the internet news channels to get further information only to find the main story is about how we denied the Dalai Lama a visa!

Yes, sure, we all know how the goverment screws up sometimes, maybe they know something we dont, maybe Mr Lee (of the China Mall fame) and Mr Agliotti (of pretty much everything fame) were involved, maybe the Dalai Lama has Shabir's real medical records...

WE JUST DONT KNOW!

My point?

All lifes questions are answered in the movies.

In the 1995 movie kiss of death, just before beating a guy to death, gangster Little Junior Brown (Nicholas Cage) gives a little speech about cleaning up ones own backyard.

Tibet is far away, I actually heard the gun shots on Grayston.

On a lighter note, what happens when a frog's car breaks down?

It gets toad.

Inbox conversation

"wow, you look different"

"do I?"

"you've done something different, haven’t you?"

"Yes, I have a new email address"

"It looks so good, I can't believe you took that long to change that other dorky one, this one is much better"

"um, the new address is only temporary while we change servers, I am going back to the old address tomorrow"

Went to the theatre last night.

Watched Elections & Erections, the lastest offering of Pieter-Dirk Uys.

Was a pleasant change from crying to laughing re: our political landscape.

Standing in front of the urinal during the interval I was unable to wee while someone else was standing next to me.

I put it down to stage fright.

Go have a weekend.

The hand of God

As we all know Zimbabwe Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai's wife, Susan, was tragically killed in a car crash late last week.

On tuesday thousands of people attended memorial services in Harare, during which President Robert Mugabe said the crash was the "hand of God".

I really dont see how Diego Maradona could have been invloved AGAIN!!!!

Is this funny only in MY head....or is it just me?

Q & A

Instead of desperately looking for answers rather concentrate your efforts on asking the right questions. Once you've done this, the answers will come looking for you.

- me, i said that.

Weekends in Joburg

If caps lock is the typing equvilant of shouting......how is whispering displayed?

really small font?

So Kenneth, what did you get up to over the weekend?"

I WENT TO THE A1 GRAND PRIX!!!

or

I watched the Telkom PGA golf championship at the country club Johannebsurg.

Does Joburg like, totally rock or is it just me?

le Big Mac

Anyone who has studied economics at tertiary level will be familiar with the big mac index, a pretty cool way to explain Purchasing Power Parity (PPP) between currencies as in "what does a dollar buy in New York compared to Cape Town?"

Delving a little deeper Wikipedia also tells us that it "...provides a test of the extent to which
market exchange rates result in goods costing the same in different countries."

Driving to work this morning I heard an advert on the radio announcing the fact in the latest (February 4th) index South Africa is listed as selling one of the cheapest big macs in the world and its, therefore, value for money to purchase one.

Yes, it is value for money....IN DOLLAR TERMS!!!

We earn Rands in this here R of SA so please feel free to go ahead and celebrate your local
currency's weakness by taking a big bite out of little mac.

OR

If you reading this blog in say, Sweet Home Alabama, feel free to hop onto a plane and come a big mac feeding y'all!

OR

If you're Kim Kardashian then you can afford a big mac in any currency or country

OR

....is it just me?

Since when did rap become the coriander of the Grammy awards?

I witnessed PVR in action for the first time this weekend and realised that it is indeed a double edged sword in terms of recording crap you could have just as easily missed altogether instead of digitally "taping" it for future torture.

So there we are watching a recording of this years 3 hour long award ceremony and I am longing to scream out, "please stop forwarding the adverts they are the only pieces of music in this horrid affair that haven't been rapped to death!!!!"

Since when did every song on the planet need an overlay of a dude talking into a mic at 1200 words per minute with the odd "yea...yea" sprinkled in for overkill seasoning"??

Which (naturally) brings me to coriander, a nice tasty herb, but use it on everything and it ruins the original meal...or is it just me again?

Things i've noticed at the gym....

1. Is there only one type of tattoo design out there?

2. Guy goes to gym, gets big muscles, tattoos his arms, wears vests all the time. That is the right order.

3. Scrawny guy goes to gym wearing vest, sporting tattoos he hopes to grown into one day, isnt!

4. Or is it just me?